Well, a different facet is what we were told to try to put up in this post through a self-portrait.
After much thought and many failed attempts, this was the picture I finally decided on. There were a few pictures in which I was without spectacles and others, like this one, in which I was wearing spectacles. "Now which picture would not make me look ugly, and also convey the 'other' side to myself?". Then I decided on this picture as it shows me in a calmer, non-hyper state where I'm not doing crazy things such as carrying jute stools on my head. For once I don't look like something mindless is around the corner! I chose this picture because it captures me in a very natural moment where I just like to 'chill' and not have any antics to do to entertain myself!
It is strange how this picture happened. I was just watching the 'Golden Moments' section of the Olympics on television when I decided to click this. While clicking, I just switched off and was so absorbed in Phelps' record-breaking 8th gold medal. I guess that was one of the reasons I could avoid being conscious about what the picture would look like. This picture, although was an honest attempt at trying to produce something resulting out of me being consciously aware of the camera's presence, involved an elaborate study of a series of pictures to decide which one looks best. Even the pictures that I took after this one included an uneasy awareness of the camera.
One thing that struck me in the course of this exercise was one's need to always project an image of oneself in a manner that would seem suitable in the eyes of others. Even though many of us often say, "I don't really give a damn about what people have to say, and I just go on as I am", there's always a sense of consciousness about that statement. I think that's one thing I've found out about myself. I'm always making statements such as, "I really don't give a damn, man... It hardly bothers me what other people have to say...". What I really wonder, then, is why did it take me so long to decided on that one picture that I had to put up on the blog that can be viewed by all my classmates? This was one of the primary reasons why all the pictures had me looking away from the camera.
In every class, we are told about perceptions - those of others and those of ours - and the role they play in any profession that we take up. Maybe that was the focus of this assignment... Maybe we're just hell bent on the way we want others to see us... Maybe...
- Sruti Visweswaran
5 comments:
Maybe! ... Good!...though I do not care much for the photograph per se in terms of framing and lighting. What are those flowers doing there? But am glad to read that the exercise got you to think about "one's need to always project...." What was that about this being an "honest attempt"? Makes me doubt authenticity. Can you look me in the eye (of the camera) and post another self-portrait. And then, let's talk, - Ajay
By an honest attempt, I am referring to the countless number of times I took a picture of myself. The idea behind it was to try and not be conscious of the camera, which is something that happens in every photograph. It was, like I said, an honest attempt because that was one thing that was constantly running through my head "must not be conscious of camera". Add to that the fact that I was absorbed in what was showing on the television that evening.
- Sruti
When I took the picture from the same place the first time, it was looking a little flat... The flowers just seemed to add to the depth... Also, there was too much yellow! :)
Sruti:
Exactly! The flowers are just there. Do they mean anything to you? It is not like you wanted them there? Why this obsession with not being "conscious of camera"?, and was that the "idea"? And lastly, an attempt, is an attempt, is an attempt...and I am assuming they are always "honest"... - Ajay
I personally feel that when I'm conscious of the camera, there arises a need to, like I said earlier, project one's image in a particular manner. Posing for the camera then becomes, for me, just a way to make an attempt at getting something else across to the people viewing the photograph. What I then question is that, "How natural is this picture? How much does it reveal about me and how much does it conceal about me?" As I mentioned earlier, it bothers me that people, self included, are so conscious of the way they are being perceived by others. That is probably the only reason I cannot look at the camera when somebody is clicking a picture, unless, of course I am genuinely happy. When told to take a picture of myself, put just myself in the frame, I find it slightly strange and difficult that I have to smile in a certain way while looking into the camera.
Maybe I'm conscious of my looks.. Maybe it's the braces...
Maybe the thought of posing for others just doesn't fit with me...
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